in person isn't perfect either
Although in person schoolers don't seem to be quite as frustrated as the distance group, this year really doesn't seem like a picnic for anyone. Sometimes when things aren't working the best course of action is to step back, pause, think about what really matters, and make a new plan that focuses on that. In all likelihood, and no matter what age your kids are, what really matters as far as this school year is nurturing wellbeing and the love of learning.
Let's start with these three priorities:
Let's start with these three priorities:
* LESS STRESS
If your kids are struggling and you are concerned about their wellbeing, take the pressure off. All elementary kids are moved to the next grade by age. Being held back a year no longer happens. High school is based on credits and, yes, a credit can be failed. It can also be made up. The only marks that count for university entrance are grade 11 and 12. Low marks can be raised with online courses, taking Open University courses, or summer school. Taking a year or two off to work, volunteer, or follow a passion and applying for university as a mature student is a great option and has the side benefit of producing students who are more socially and emotionally prepared university. Find out more about high school and post-secondary options, here.
more consent
As adults we are almost never forced to learn something. Yet we learn new things all the time by reading, taking courses, trying a new activity or sport, and working to get better at something. We do this because we want to. We choose it. Interest and consent are incredibly important in learning and yet they are considerations we seldom give to our children. Watch this short but powerful video on Consent In Education by Blake Bowls.
Here is something we think will help: it is ok to say to the school, 'no thank you.'
You have a right to customize your child's learning at school in a way that works. That means you can say 'no thank you' to having your 5 or 6 year old sit at a desk all day and not be able to chat with her friends. You can keep her home when it is possible. Children learn through play; running around in the backyard, making a fort out of blankets, turning a milk carton into a monster, collecting leaves on a walk and then getting your help to look them up on the internet. Play is learning. They do not need to be in school every day to learn.
Or maybe this year you let them know you don't care if they do homework or that you won't fuss about their grades. You just trust them to enjoy and learn as much as they can, both in school and outside of it.
It's ok to say to your older kids, "this year take the classes you are getting something out of and skip the rest. Spend the extra time doing something that interests you." You might be very pleasantly surprised at the results. When we trust kids, they become trustworthy.
Here is an analogy that might help. Try viewing school more like a restaurant. In a restaurant your kids don’t need to eat everything on the menu, they can pick and choose, depending on their taste. And if they really want something that isn't on the menu, they can go get it somewhere else. Try that this year with school. Take what works, leave what doesn't and explore other options to learn via curiosity and passion.
Here is something we think will help: it is ok to say to the school, 'no thank you.'
You have a right to customize your child's learning at school in a way that works. That means you can say 'no thank you' to having your 5 or 6 year old sit at a desk all day and not be able to chat with her friends. You can keep her home when it is possible. Children learn through play; running around in the backyard, making a fort out of blankets, turning a milk carton into a monster, collecting leaves on a walk and then getting your help to look them up on the internet. Play is learning. They do not need to be in school every day to learn.
Or maybe this year you let them know you don't care if they do homework or that you won't fuss about their grades. You just trust them to enjoy and learn as much as they can, both in school and outside of it.
It's ok to say to your older kids, "this year take the classes you are getting something out of and skip the rest. Spend the extra time doing something that interests you." You might be very pleasantly surprised at the results. When we trust kids, they become trustworthy.
Here is an analogy that might help. Try viewing school more like a restaurant. In a restaurant your kids don’t need to eat everything on the menu, they can pick and choose, depending on their taste. And if they really want something that isn't on the menu, they can go get it somewhere else. Try that this year with school. Take what works, leave what doesn't and explore other options to learn via curiosity and passion.
* MORE RESPONSIBILITY
Every parent and every teacher want students to take more responsibility for becoming educated. At least that is the party line. But if we want kids to 'own' becoming educated, we need to let them make choices so that they can take responsibility for them. You can't take responsibility for someone else's choice, only your own. To get a glimpse of what is possible when it is clear to kids that becoming educated is 'their job', check out these videos on student agency.
AND NOW MUM AND DAD, WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Now that school has been so changed by covid, perhaps it might be a good time to learn something about learning and child development, so that when we go back to normal we can fight for the right things. Often school demands things that our children don't want. Perhaps before you insist that they just get on with it, lets take a look about what makes sense at school and what doesn't. School Transformation, by master educator Wayne Jennings, is a great place to start on your own journey to learn more about how we learn. Here is Chapter 5, How Students Learn (in both text and audio) it provides an easy to digest synthesis of the current research on brain function, psychology, and child development as it relates to learning. Thank you, Wayne.
